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Colbear
and The Rampaging Colbert's arch-nemesis in his grizzly form.]] The Colbear is a 42 ft tall godless killing machine and is the prime leader of the Bearluminaty along with Bearlister Crowley. He is the supreme leader of the Bear plot for world domination and a combination of a black bear, a polar bear, a grizzly bear, satan, Hitler and an alcoholic pot head commie; making him the closest thing to the ultimate killing machine there is. The Colbear also co-founded the North American Man-Bear Love Association with Democrat Mark Foley. The Colbear is Stephen's arch-nemesis. He is also the false prophet described in revelations who works with the beast. Is a shapeshifter and is often disguised as globalist scum David Rockefeller. As a matter of fact, all Rockefellers are bears in disguise! Unholy Creation As legend goes the Colbear was created deep in the depths of hell the moment Stephen Colbert was born. It was created by Satan himself to plague Colbert for his entire life. The Colbear legend even suggests that Colbert has a recurring nightmare in which he is embroiled in an epic battle against the Colbear. Abilities He is a master of deception. He will convince humans that he is here to bring peace when in fact he will destroy and enslave humans. He is the false prophet of revelations. In league with the beast, Bearlister Crowley. Since the Colbear is a combination of all three types of bears, he is able to kill in any condition; he has the grizzly's ferocity with the polar bears's tolerance for cold, along with the black bear's ability to breathe fire. He is even able to change his form to one of the three bear types depending on which one suits his killer needs. It has been said that the Colbear, much like Stephen Colbert, has honed his skills with a lightsaber. His Sith training makes him skilled and dangerous, and allows him to shoot lightning from his claws. The Colbear is also highly trained in the ways of the Jedi, which means he is capable of choking you to death using his mind alone! He is also bulletproof and can only be killed by a laser (Battle Bears). He is also experienced in martial arts, and was trained by Bruce Lee. The Colbear tricked Mr. Lee into training him, and later told Lee he was faster than a bullet and used his trickery into letting him fire a bullet at him in a televised stunt that ended in Lee's untimely death, making sure no one else would be able to obtain the fighting skills the Colbear now possessed. He can currently assume the form of only one bear at a time, and is training to be able to morph each form together, but will be unable to do so as long as we have Teddy Ruxpin locked up safely in our bear prisons. Without his amazing story telling abilities, he will be unable to transform into the ultimate killing machine. Past Battles The dreaded Colbear has been a major opponent in many bear battles before. Unfortunately, even our outstanding Colbert National Guard is unable to compete with his immense power and he is able to overpower even them. But, he is no match for our brave and god-like leader Stephen Colbert and has been driven off each time he attempted to face him as The Rampaging Colbert. Chuck Norris has faced him before but was defeated. The Colbear almost ate him but lost interest when Chuck said that he saw Sir Dr. Stephen Colbert and ran off in search. Chuck Norris then said "Buffoonery" and vanished into a poof of smoke. Predictions Many believe the Colbear will lead the Bear uprising of 2012. It is during that time that Stephen Colbert and the Colbear will have their final battle against one another on the top of Mt. Rushmore. The Colbear is definitly in league with the Anti-Christ. He is the false prophet of revelations. Current News on the Colbear The dreaded Colbear has been seen slowly moving from Antarctica, where many bears have taken refuge under the Colbear's mighty un-american claws, to South Dakota, where it can only be assumed that he (Colbear) wishes to have his final battle with his crafty nemesis, Stephen Colbert, atop the scalps of the greatest presidents in history. The Colbear, or a bear impersonating the Colbear, has taunted Stephen Colbert by making his own Green Screen Challenge (as seen here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yblXDWQVEko, and trying to start a "bearvolution" in the capitol of everything un-american, San Francisco. A video of this bearvolution can be seen here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uT7tNen3pYE The Council of Doom is preparing all troops to defend Colbert and destroy the Colbear. Many ninja pandas are infuriated with the Colbear's actions. Many of them are ready to leave the moon base and destroy the Colbear tonight. We are also having laser leprechauns and kamikaze squirrels being placed into strategic recon positions to watch the Colbear and all of his advisors. Although the battle will ultimately come down to Colbert and the Colbear, there is another threat: the Hopeful Helpers of America, an association created by Colbear to secretly transport illegal goods throughout the world. This fake-association is likely to be the Colbear's equivalent to the Council. The Council has never been threatened like this before, and will have to use their own leaders: Zidel Fastro, Luceph Lawlin, Karl Marks, Adolphin Timler, Darth Varen, and Zine Ben Ali, and their unique abilities, along with their armies, to fight the millions of bears who will likely be looking to destroy the Council and all they stand for. The dolphin hounds will likely take out the bulk of their forces, while the six leaders of the HHA: Winnie the Pooh, Big Bear, Yogi Bear, and the Three Bears, will all be waiting for the Council members themselves on the other side of Mt. Rushmore. A battle of epic proportions is imminent, nothing can stop it. We just have to be ready to make sacrifices. The Council of Doom will not fail, the Colbear will be destroyed once and for all. For the Council!!! Colbear has recently appeared as the main villain in The Rampaging Colbert (film) Colbear has been spotted in the World of Warcraft as a hunter pet belonging to user Aerlinn. There is little doubt that this grey bear is truly the one running the account, destroying America with every swipe of his pixelated claws See Also *Bears *Polar bears *Ice 9 *The Left Wing Madness *Winnie The Pooh *Bearism *Bear uprising of 2012 *The End of the World *The Rampaging Colbert External Tubes *Colbear invades facebook